Jessica Drew, aka Spider-Woman

Journal Entry Security: Private

Hey Cheeseburger...Ok this is still weird to write a letter to you when I have no intention of letting you ever read this but it's a little less crazy than writing the letter to myself. I started this journal back when I did that mission for SWORD in Madripoor and it's mostly sat here gathering cyberdust but I think I'm going to dust it off. I've heard people write journals to process things or remember so I thought I'd give it a try. Can't hurt right?

Anyway, things haven't been sitting well with me. I keep finding myself obsessing on things. My place in the Avengers, New York City, Clint...is there an end to the list? Don't know, which scares me a little. And even if I wasn't obsessing, the world is doing it for me.

One of the hard things about heightened hearing is that you hear things people don't necessary want you to and more often than not, it's stuff you wouldn't care to hear if given a choice. It's been more than a year since the skrulls tried their little coup but still people pause when they see me; wondering if I'm truly human or a skrull. I'm not talking about the hero set, of course. Well, mostly. There's still a dissenting voice I hear from time to time. But no, I'm talking about the person on the street.

Do you realize how rarely I go shopping or go out for food? Not that Jarvis doesn't make the best cuisine nor arrange impeccable personal shoppers but there's more to it. I guess I'm tired of the mistrust I see and hear from the people I'm protecting. The blow hards on the radio and TV don't help but I've seen mothers pull their kids across the street to avoid me and that's hard to keep facing.

It's hasn't all been bad though. The other day I actually went out for a run in Central Park and while I heard the usual narrative from the people I passed, one voice caught me when I paused for a drink of water. It was a kid's. A boy. "You can't ask her. Don't you know who she is?" A girl's voice replied in a serious tone, "Yeah, she's Spider-Woman and she's a hero, she'll help."

Next thing I know, I'm chasing a cat through the trees of Central Park. I swear the damn thing took lessons from squirrels. Anyway, I do feel a bit better having written this out but much better remembering that girl. Maybe if one girl believes in me that's all I need for now.